Learning from the Cheat--Sept 10

Sunday, September 10, 2006

I am surrounded by chaos. I am supposed to be packing but instead I am sitting here, staring into space and occasionally my lap top and listening to my cat snore. I am overwhelmed.
Here is a list of everything that has gone on in the last 3 weeks:
1. We sold our home.2. We purchased a new home.3. Our very good friends got married.4. Loren had his first day of kindgarten.5. Brad played one of his own songs at church on our last official day there.6. We had our first official sunday meeting of Damascus Road Church.7. We are leaving on Friday for California for 10 days.8. I have not gone to bed before 2am in a week.9. I have not gotten up after 8am in a month.10. We aquired a new little kitten and named him 'The Cheat'.All that to say, life is amazing and I am trying very hard to keep it together. Hearing Brad's song today was superb. I've been hearing it simply on an acoustic guitar for a while, but today, with it arranged with perfect dynamics and piano and drums and tambs and bass, it was a poinent moment. He is so talented. And all he wished to do with it is give it all to God.

And then there is The Cheat. It was endearing to watch this little nugget of a kitten go from being terrified and hissing and peeing his kitty pants with fear to running around perfectly acclamated and meowing at my feet for attention. He adores the dog, which is of course so cute. His full name is Steve The Cheat. If you've been around Brad in the last few months you know why it's Steve. If you've ever seen Homestar Runner, you know why The Cheat. If you don't check out http://www.homestarrunner.com/ It's hi-larious! The transfomation from feral to domesticated reminds me of how it works with God. We fight and bite and run away not knowing that we are missing out on amazing love and affection. I had him in this big box and I would reach in to take out his food bowl or clean up a mess and he would back into the corner and hiss. But I ignored him and did what I had to do, and brought back a bowl full of food. And he would hiss again. I would have to pick him up and put him right in fromt of the food dish. He would be so scared and tense, then when he realized what was happening he'd relax and stuff his face and purr. But over time he realized that being touched wasn't so bad, and then one day he just let it go and hopped right over to me purring and ready to be pet. And now he gets love anytime he wants it, has a full belly and a warm place to nap. He's taken care of. And God does the same for us. Even when we don't know it we are receiving his blessing and are a part of his sovereignty. But when we realize it and let go we are blessed a million fold from what we could be on our own. We don't have to worry about a thing because he's in charge. It's not a promise that bad things won't happen or hard times won't come, but that when they do we will be held and loved and able to find joy even then. I need to go now to become Pack Master K and blow this popcicle stand. I didn't think I'd be sad at all to leave this house, but it is a little bit hard. We have the door jamb with Loren's height charted on it for the past 3 years. That's hard to leave. But it is a new adventure and we're excited to be on it! peace out, yo.

Aug 22 post from my other blog...enjoy!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Life is so much harder when you can't just think about yourself...
You don't know it when you are young or single or just married without kids...you have no idea at all.
I didn't.
I look back now and think...ARGH! I was such an idiot. I had no clue how good I had it.
To only have one person to worry about...or even only one person in addition to yourself, as is the case in marriage.
I remember being single for the first time in 4 years...I was 20 and I felt so free. I lived alone and loved my job and that's all I had to worry about. For that brief blink in time I could have dated anyone, gone anywhere, done anything. It was gone sooooo fast.
I don't regret anything...not at all. But I write this so that others who are experiencing that brief blink in time can appreciate it. That they can understand what a unique, amazing time it is. Even if you never plan on getting married or having kids, some day you will be married to something. Your home, your family, your friends...something will root you deeply into itself and you will be hardpressed to be released from it.
But if, for now, you are a seed on the wind, not yet planted, take this time you have before growing your roots and love it for all it is. Don't pine after things that may be beyond your control or even your grasp. Hope for the things of the future but do not allow yourself to be controlled by the desire for what you currently don't have.
Because you will look back...and if you have spent all of your time looking foward and none looking to the now, you will wish you had realized the time for what it was.

Gramma throws the wildest parties!!

We're at Gramma's house and have had a blast today. We had a wedding earlier, my cousin Jared got hitched at 2pm this afternoon. I actually felt pretty in my black Old Navy dress and Brad thought so too. Then we came back to Gramma's and met up with my Aunts and Uncles and Cousins from both sides and we had a blast!

Tomorrow we'll have a laid back morning and then drive to Disney Land and check in to the hotel. We'll relax by the pool and go to Toon Town. It should be fun!

The kids have been amazing. Flying with them was just fine and it's been awesome just seeing them bond and be loved on by the family. Sweet.

Stupid Mortgages!!

I guess in the mortgage business it's a-okay to say one thing and then do another.

We're rarin' to go, to hurry up and get into our new house before we trek to Mr. Mouse's house on the 16th. We also have the added weight of having to be out of our current home by the 12th. So we go to sign papers today on the sale of our home, and BOOM!!! Big speed bump. They got the commissions all wrong and there is the matter of a $4,280 excise tax that our mortgage company failed to mention. So we're looking at the total of what we're making from the sale of our house and it's barely cutting the mustard. We were told we would have the amount we needed down and ten grand in our pockets. Now it's looking like we will have more like three grand, which is enough to cover the taxes and insurance for the first year and a half and then maybe do all of the things needed, like replace the water heater and fix a sink, etc. We were hoping so much to have the money to get all projects out of the way and indulge in new lighting fixtures, finish the down stairs bathroom and all that. But now we're not sure. So here we hang in limbo and we're just waiting to see the light!!

Oh, there's the phone call from the title people...it's not as bad as we thought, but we're still not getting about $5000. Great. Well, we have a new home and I guess that is what is important.