So, I'm fat.
No really, don't shake your head or roll your eyes and try to pretend like it's not true. I'm okay with it...you should be too. Not to say that I'm happy about it. But change doesn't come until you realize you need it. In the immortal words of Matt Nickel, you won't use deodorant until you realize you stink! So, here I am, admitting to Who Ever that I stink. Well, no, admitting that I'm fat. (And if any of you Who Evers ever notices that I need to change deodorant and doesn't tell me, I'll kick you.)
I've always been big chested and curvey. I never realized that I had an attractive body until college and then I didn't care what anyone thought of it but my boyfriend, and he told me my boobs needed to be perkier. (In so many words...and with a nice hand gesture that I cannot relate into words...) I did get attention in 8th and 9th grade from boys a lot but they were usually either gross or weird and oh, yeah, I was 13 and 14 and clueless about boys so I felt more self conscience instead of flattered. I look back now and think of some of the looks I got from by friends-that-are-boys in high-school and realize they weren't looking at me that way because I had mustard on my shirt. I do remember thinking how fat I was because I was curvy and all the mags and fashions were about stick figure chicks. I of course see the error of my ways, since I was a 7/8 then and have doubled that at this point. I was hot. Now I'm all floppy and jiggley and my face is all round and puffy and I've acquired an additional chin. The worst of it is that I'm tired all the time and I'm no fun for my son, who wants to run and play and jump and I don't wanna. Then I had my daughter and for some reason I dropped 32 pounds 3 weeks after she was born. But I have gained it all back and a bit more too. What to do?
My next step is talking to Brad about getting a gym membership and working out together. I can't do it alone, and I can't do it at home. We have a treadmill but without anyone cheering me on I'm not going to get on it. And learning to eat right. We both need to cut out the white stuff (rice, potatoes and sugar) and eat a lot more veggies. Let's see what happens...
No really, don't shake your head or roll your eyes and try to pretend like it's not true. I'm okay with it...you should be too. Not to say that I'm happy about it. But change doesn't come until you realize you need it. In the immortal words of Matt Nickel, you won't use deodorant until you realize you stink! So, here I am, admitting to Who Ever that I stink. Well, no, admitting that I'm fat. (And if any of you Who Evers ever notices that I need to change deodorant and doesn't tell me, I'll kick you.)
I've always been big chested and curvey. I never realized that I had an attractive body until college and then I didn't care what anyone thought of it but my boyfriend, and he told me my boobs needed to be perkier. (In so many words...and with a nice hand gesture that I cannot relate into words...) I did get attention in 8th and 9th grade from boys a lot but they were usually either gross or weird and oh, yeah, I was 13 and 14 and clueless about boys so I felt more self conscience instead of flattered. I look back now and think of some of the looks I got from by friends-that-are-boys in high-school and realize they weren't looking at me that way because I had mustard on my shirt. I do remember thinking how fat I was because I was curvy and all the mags and fashions were about stick figure chicks. I of course see the error of my ways, since I was a 7/8 then and have doubled that at this point. I was hot. Now I'm all floppy and jiggley and my face is all round and puffy and I've acquired an additional chin. The worst of it is that I'm tired all the time and I'm no fun for my son, who wants to run and play and jump and I don't wanna. Then I had my daughter and for some reason I dropped 32 pounds 3 weeks after she was born. But I have gained it all back and a bit more too. What to do?
My next step is talking to Brad about getting a gym membership and working out together. I can't do it alone, and I can't do it at home. We have a treadmill but without anyone cheering me on I'm not going to get on it. And learning to eat right. We both need to cut out the white stuff (rice, potatoes and sugar) and eat a lot more veggies. Let's see what happens...
posted by Kimberly | 5:06 PM
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